Why Sometimes Things Are Just Not For You
ester-marie-doysabas-hECwQNeR1iE-unsplash.jpg
If you like this post consider signing up to my weekly newsletter on substack here
Life is web of experiences, opportunities, and challenges. As we navigate this complex journey, we often encounter situations where things don't work out as planned. It could be a job we didn't get, a relationship that ended, or a goal that remains out of reach. While these moments can be disheartening, it's essential to recognise that sometimes things are just not meant for us. This understanding can provide clarity, reduce stress, and foster personal growth.
There are a few things that factor into this.
1. The Illusion of Control
One of the main reasons we struggle when things don't go our way is the illusion of control. We like to believe that with enough effort and determination, we can shape our destiny. However, life is influenced by countless variables beyond our control. Recognising this helps us accept that some outcomes are simply not in our hands.
For example, consider a job application process. You may have the perfect qualifications, experience, and attitude, yet still not get the position. Perhaps the company had internal candidates, or maybe they sought a different skill set. Understanding that these external factors play a significant role can help us let go of the idea that we can control everything. I seen this play out many times with people around me.
2. The Concept of Alignment
Sometimes, things not working out is a sign that they aren't aligned with our true path or purpose, I know that it can be hard to swallow when we think we really want it. The universe, fate, or whatever guiding principle you believe in, often has a way of steering us towards what is genuinely right for us. This misalignment can manifest in various ways, such as persistent obstacles or a lack of passion and enthusiasm.
Imagine pursuing a career because it's lucrative or prestigious, but feeling unfulfilled and stressed. If continuous roadblocks appear, it might be the universe nudging you towards a path that resonates more with your authentic self. Embracing this perspective can turn disappointments into opportunities for realignment and self-discovery and get you heading in the direction of your true north.
3. Personal Growth and Learning
Every setback or unfulfilled desire carries a lesson. These experiences are crucial for personal growth. When things don’t go our way, it forces us to reflect, adapt, and evolve. This process builds resilience and character, preparing us for future opportunities better suited to us.
Consider a failed business venture or passion project. While the immediate aftermath might be painful, the lessons learned about perseverance, financial management for instance are invaluable. These insights equip you for future endeavours, increasing the likelihood of success in areas that truly align with your strengths and passions.
4. Avoiding Misery
Sometimes, not getting what we want spares us from future misery. We might have an idealised vision of a situation that doesn't match reality. A relationship that didn’t work out might have saved us from greater heartbreak, or a job we didn’t get could have led to dissatisfaction and burnout.
Think of an apartment you were eager to rent but lost to another tenant, I remember being in this situation. Initially, it feels like a loss, but later you find out the building has severe maintenance issues. In hindsight, not getting that apartment was a blessing in disguise. This principle applies broadly: what seems like a missed opportunity might be a hidden blessing.
5. Trusting the Timing
Timing plays a crucial role in our lives. Sometimes, we’re simply not ready for what we think we want, or the circumstances aren’t right. Trusting the timing of your life means understanding that everything unfolds when it’s supposed to.
For example, with the book I’ve been writing getting the right deal has been a process. Filled with delays and setbacks which has felt frustrating, but it has allowed me to grow and gain the necessary expertise to succeed, and to trust in the timing here.
Trusting that the right opportunities will come at the right time can alleviate stress and build patience.
6. Opening New Doors
When one door closes, another opens, I truly believe this and have seen this in my life many times.
The things that aren’t meant for us often clear the way for new opportunities or people that are a better fit. Being open to these new possibilities requires a mindset shift from focusing on loss to embracing potential.
The opportunities that come your way might surpass your original dreams, and how amazing is this.
In conclusion, understanding that sometimes things are just not for you is a powerful mindset shift. It allows you to release the need for control, trust the timing of your life, and remain open to new possibilities. Embracing this perspective not only reduces stress and disappointment but also fosters personal growth and resilience. Remember, every setback is a setup for something greater. Trust that the universe has a plan, and that sometimes, not getting what you want is the best.