A new way with expectations ...

Often the person we are most tough on is ourselves, we place wild expectations and create multiple stories in our heads about how we need to be or how things should be.

This stems from the younger versions of ourselves feeling the pressure growing from inside and outside our worlds. We end up creating these stories and we base our validation and success on this, which leaves us in a not feeling good enough loop, when we think we haven’t met our expectations.

This isn’t to say we shouldn’t have goals, aspirations or be inspired, but what we don’t want is our validation to be based on this, especially when our brains have been so primed for this.

How do with begin with a new way of thinking and ease up on ourselves while remaining inspired?

We firstly have to get clear with our story and own that.

What kinda expectations do you put on yourself?

What’s the pay off for you beyond these expectations?

How does it make you feel?

How do you feel when you don’t meet them?

How does this feel in your nervous system and body?

The funny thing is when we are so used to feeling a certain way our body remembers it and it feels safe and we start to believe it.

Once we unravel the story and pull it apart, we can begin to change it on a mind, body and nervous system level.

Shifting our story and perspectives on how we deal expectations and creating an identity of feeling good beyond this. We have to begin to really trust ourselves and trust who we are and that firstly we are worthy beyond expectations and achievements. If we feel worthy first and then put our desires, expectations out, it comes with a different energy, and bringing this energy forward will feel good in the nervous system.

It will take time to anchor in a new story and it’ll be a case of playing around with it, feeling into it and learning to feel more self assured in who you are without placing things around you to validate this.

As we do this we’ll naturally change how we see expectations, this of course doesn’t mean at times we don’t feel disappointed if something doesn’t work out but it won’t be a crushing a feeling and that totally throws us when an expectations isn’t met.

It’s also important with expectations to not project onto others and then be radically disappointed when they don’t respond like us, in truth everyone is different. This doesn’t mean we don’t have boundaries or want respect, but its aligning with people that will naturally do this and of course sometimes this isn’t the case. It’s seeing the perspective not everyone is like you will shift things, else life can be disappointing with people continually.

Lastly, when we ease up on ourselves and shift stories and perspective and create some space, things can actually feel easier and much better than we imagined. This of course needs to recode in the nervous system to feel safe, therefore it’s a case of working with that and through the initially discomfort you may feel with this. It’s also remaining in that space of this or something better, which works a treat with expectations because it opens us up to even greater possibility.

Too many expectations can cut us off from the energy of joy and fun, which you may have got so used to that this thought feels alien. However it can be transformative when you reconnect to this energy and take the foot off the break, bringing in new aligned stories around joy, fun and expectations that leave you feeling good and in the flow.

Remember this doesn’t mean you won’t achieve your dreams and desires it means you’ll be approaching it differently which supports your wellbeing in a positive way and leaves you feeling happier.

All of which is a good thing.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

All my love

Hannah X