Perfectly Imperfect

There has never been a better time to embrace the motto ‘perfectly imperfect’.

Right now, as we are in lock down with lots of time on our hands, it enables us to look at what everyone else is doing right now and what happens is the following It appears from the outside that everyone’s life is more perfect than yours, they are achieving more, coping better and generally doing better. Or so it would seem, because this is what our heads tell us. Which in turn enables a large dose of comparisonitus ( it’s a thing you know ), and we end up spiralling down a rabbit hole so this is your reminder to stop!

Remember there’s always more to this with everyone, no matter what our eyes are allowing us to see and perceive.

I’ve been having many conversations the last few weeks with people and this is a big theme, so we need to get on top of this.

The worst thing we can do in this whole situation is compare ourselves to others.

The thing about this situation is we have never, as a collective, experienced it before, so it is unknown and therefore we will all react differently. This is why being present and taking things step by step has never been more paramount. You will have to keep coming back to this but it will help, and it will allow you to feel what you need to in the present and do so with awareness. Awareness is a really powerful thing right now because it allows us to not get lost and helps keep us present.

We are all coping differently and as time goes on and we get deeper in this, even how we were maybe initially coping will change. Simply because our situation is so different from normality we are slowly adapting to the new normal, with the longing for the old normal.

You hear that, so basically you’re mourning the old, and having to adapt to the new and find that balance.

Plus on top of this, whereas on a normal basis we would go and meet our friends or see our family we simply can’t, so the separation of this will be bringing up all manner of feelings.

When we end up isolated for a prolonged time this will often bring up unresolved stuff you’ve buried while you’ve been busy. A lot of people will be experiencing this which is another reason to keep being present with yourself.

This will even affect people who maybe already work from home so you may think are more adapted, yes to some extent but collectively everyone is feeling it no matter how they want to look at it.

Remember this, some people will always thrive in intense circumstances because that’s the way they are built and often it’s a coping strategy too, so when you’re diving into comparison remember this.

The truth is we need to mourn to some extent what we are missing, while not getting stuck in that place but to honour it. The good thing is in this case it will pass and eventually normal life will resume in some form. Which is why its important to honour all your feelings presently so when things do return to normal you’re not suffering with a back log of unprocessed emotions. This is really key whether its journaling, reflecting, talking to a friend or family member but being open and honest really does help, even the more murky feeling emotions.

Essential the collective unknown is like a tender wound, so we need to be kind to the wound, we need to remain somewhat soft and fluid which can actually be hard in these circumstances.

The real key in all of this is DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU, read that again this will look different for everyone. It’s time to learn to dance to your own rhythm.

Comparison is a nasty thing, and it tends to be addictive. I highly recommend checking out my friend Lucy Sheridan you can find Lucy on instagram @lucysheridan and her book “The Comparison Cure” you can get on amazon, I love Lucy’s work in general because she’s on point with all this stuff and has got your back (she also has the cutest dog Roe).

I hope this post is of some help as this is such a prominent topic. I’m sure in some form anyone reading this will have experienced these feelings at some time.

Like I said at the beginning, it’s time to ditch perfect and embrace becoming perfectly imperfect.

I hope everyone’s week goes in the best way possible.

All my love

Hannah X