Finding grace and mental health.......
photo @scottycalnon
In the midst of mental health awareness week its so good seeing people share their truth and story. More importantly destroying stereotypes, because there are no types, it can affect anyone at anytime in their life.
Here’s the thing it doesn’t matter who you are, what you have or don’t have, what you look like or what you’ve achieved, you can still be affected. Breaking this down, is the place to begin.
Recognising how it affects people differently is also important, some people it will really outwardly show and in others it won’t and will often be masked by other things.
Shame is often the thing that holds people back, and guilt too, if we think its not really that bad and we should be coping we end up trying to hide it. Bottom line is these are the things we need to tackle, to not only get people the help they need, but it also frees you so much when you can talk to someone (relief is a powerful thing) and get it all broken down or receive any treatment you may need.
The key to success is reaching out for help, in a place you feel you will be heard and it feels safe. There are many ways to get help, but its also not being afraid if you have to go to a dr, my suggestion is to try and find out if the dr in question is good with these kind of things, a good dr can change everything. (I know from actual experience).
With chronic disconnection, causing havoc through the world, people just don’t feel safe which definitely doesn’t help peoples mental well being. So it’s getting into a safe grounded space which can really help.
When I first become unwell it disconnected me and threw me off so much, I felt like I’d broken, I cried a lot, but at the same time felt I needed to hide it and felt a bit ashamed of what was in my head.
This only manifests in negative ways, and doesn’t help.
Here’s what I wish I’d known then.
Stop trying to be perfect at healing, that’s sneaky perfectionism right there and we can’t always be perfect and thats ok, often we need to have the ups and down to find the place in the middle. I had periods where I would get obsessed with healing, and what I was really doing was overwhelming myself, without giving myself any space to breathe or process things. The healing process will often crack us open and we will experience the darkness, it’s remembering the darkness doesn’t last forever, and we can turn the light on in the darkness. Life doesn’t run in a straight line.
You may have blips, something I struggled with when I felt better in my head was if I dipped, I would feel like I’d failed, you haven’t, its human and it’s ok. We often find if we have a dip, we try and fight it or beat ourselves up, we need to allow it. You will come out the other end of it, its about moving through it.
Situations may cause things to flare up, thats ok, you are reacting to something and expressing how you feel, the quicker you honour that the quicker you can deal with it.
Sometimes you wont understand it, and you don’t always need to and what we need to do it let it go and know thats ok.
Like I said above, get help, I suggest a holistic approach that’s good for your wellbeing too. It’s learning different tools and techniques and implementing them in your life. Consistency is key and finding things that fit and work in your life, so you can maintain it. Just because someone else is doing so much more than you, that may not work for you, carve out your own way.
You may need medication, this can trigger people a lot as its gets a lot of negative press and people don’t always have the best experiences with it, but it in some cases its very helpful and if administered in the right ways can really turn a situation about for someone. I believe using combined approaches with this, such as talking therapy and techniques, combined with natural approaches too and good nutrition can be a good way to support this. What’s important though is not to over load yourself.
Different things will work for different people, you aren’t failing if something isn’t working for you. It’s probably because you need to try something different. It can be easy if something really helped you, to say to someone, ‘well it worked for me’, but the bottom line is we are different.
Find the people in your life who you can be totally honest with and really talk to, these people are the game changers and help us heal.
Find positive communities to interact with, it can be a mine field out there online, but sometimes the right place can be really empowering and helpful.
It’s ok to have dark thoughts it happens sometimes ( its not nice if you are caught up in it ) you can feel like there must be something really wrong with you, stop judging yourself, be kind to yourself. Talk to someone safe, and you can get on top of this.
Try and have fun, often when stuck in a dark place, we become worried if someone sees us having a good time that there must be nothing wrong. Here’s my answer to this F*** them, they don’t walk in your shoes. It’s sometimes the simple things that help us the most.
Drop the guilt, guilt can consume us, I still struggle with this sometimes but I’m continually releasing the need to hold onto it.
It could affect you differently at different times in your life, it’s creating an awareness to this. Then its finding the appropriate solutions, when a situation arises.
Learn to meditate or something similar, honestly it will help no matter how little you do, consistency with this is key and helps you create space within yourself and feel calmer.
It may feel impossible when you are in it, but what I can promise you is, it’s possible to heal or you can find a way to manage it . It may be hard to believe this if your caught in the thick of it, I get it, but hold on to that hope. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Some people may not get it in your life and that’s ok we are all wired differently. It doesn’t mean they don’t care, it’s just hard for some people to get. That’s why having even just one person around you that gets it, will help.
Small acts of self care won’t take the problem away, but they can definitely help, so make this something you do for you.
I hope this is helpful to anyone reading this, and to anyone struggling don’t give up, be kind to yourself. You can come out the other end of it !
We are all on this journey of life trying to navigate it, life becomes more magical when we embrace the highs and lows and learn to find grace within it.
That’s where the real perfect space is.
All my love
Hannah X
Ps Have you signed up to my email list, there’s a free meditation you get when you do.